28 Sep

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I stayed in bed reading rather late today but was missing Noko more once I got up. Her container of dry food is still under the sink with her bowls; not quite ready to deal with these yet. Her little ad hoc bed was dismantled a couple of days ago, and the towels and pillowcase washed. The tote bin is back downstairs now. The only thing that remains is to wash the pillow.

Every time I pick a cat hair off my clothes or the couch, it’s bittersweet. I certainly can’t do it without thinking of her.

I’m starting to bore myself with thinking more or less the same thoughts, but the sadness is still there and I’m trying to just let it be – neither dismiss it nor wallow in it.

I had a dance performance in the mid-afternoon, which meant starting on makeup before noon. The eye makeup is pretty heavy and I remarked that I couldn’t cry – at that point it was 3 hours before the performance and the task seemed like a bit of a challenge, but it worked out OK in the end.

She slept a lot, of course, but even so it seems too quiet in the house now.

Had a bath in the late evening and when I was done I came into the bedroom where Mark was reading with the little lamp on. His legs were stretched out and should have had a cat on them.

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